Many of us work with paid female staff. Those who do not nearly all work with unpaid female helpers of one kind or another. At our recent senior ministers conference we invited Brenda Beckett from All Souls to give the guys some help in understanding how the working relationship can work. Her nuggets of godly wisdom are worth repeating over a few days. Here's part 1.

• Ask them what would be helpful. They will know. Ask your wife. Act on their suggestions, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. This will give them a sense of your support, desire to lead them well. Also you may need to adapt how you lead different staff according to their particular needs.
• Make effort to know them as a person, especially when new (along with your wife) ie having them along to family meals every now and then – ask them about family, interests, etc and remember what they've said and ask them about it again.
• Communicate! Relate! Pass the time of day, drop in. Show an interest in them as individuals, part of your team. Show an interest in their ministry as part of your team (ask how a particular thing went eg weekend away talks / speaking at outside event, give constructive criticism on things you see them do). A 5 minute ask every week will save them major meltdowns later!
• The worst thing is just to leave a woman to get on. You may well trust her, not have a specific issue to talk about. But a woman just sees that as all sorts of negative messages. I may be trusted, but I want to see my boss—regularly!!
• Don’t be afraid to guide and direct the work the women do. This isn’t to be a control freak, or mistrust her. But women need reassurance they are on the right lines. Make time to discuss the things on her agenda. Know what she does. Give feedback. Say thank you.

More tomorrow.